Wolf Althuis at Abandoned Towers informed me today that they're accepting a reprint of my story "Hero for Hire" for the online version of their magazine. This tale was my first-ever published work way back in January of 2010 at A Fly in Amber, so it's obviously had a well-ensconced place in my heart. But the Abandoned Towers crew didn't take it as-was…
1. There are way too many asides in parentheses. Some of these could be removed to streamline the reader's experience.
2. The pacing of the story is mostly very good, but there are a few times where it gets bogged down in details, boring the reader.
3. There are a few things that should be cleaned up, namely frequent word repetition.
4. This line needs to be adjusted to be within our language guideline of no swearing: “My bro's a real dumbass.”
Suffering from no delusions that "Hero for Hire" was perfect, I went to work on the revisions and had it back to Mr. Althuis a few weeks later. Here's what the team had to say today:
1. The story is well paced and very funny. The descriptions and point of view from Darrell is very well done; it’s a great view into his mind and his delusions.
2. There are enough funny parts and action to hold a person's interest in this story. I enjoyed reading this and thank you for your submission.
3. I love the voice in this piece. It has that imaginative tone to it that you remembering having when you were ten, fighting off invisible monsters. The main character is awkward, honest and quite loveable. He has his faults, but he tries hard.
No $ for this one, but a chance to share "Hero for Hire" with new readers. I'll post a link as soon as it's available.