Captain Quasar 2?

Received word from Ray Gun Revival that Captain Quasar may return to fight another day—as long as I address a few editorial concerns. For those of you unfamiliar with the character, Quasar first appeared @ Every Day Fiction in August of last year, and you can read his misadventure here.

This time around, he and Hank the very hairy biped are up against overwhelming odds yet again. The title of the story is "Captain Quasar and the Insurmountable Barrier of Space Crap," and while I originally wrote it to follow a sequel that explains how our heroes are still alive (currently under consideration at OG's Speculative Fiction), it works as a prequel too.

Here's what RGR had to say:

EDITOR 1:  Hmm. I liked that. The writing is serviceable but doesn't shine and the ideas are good but not great. Hmm. There's something missing. It's not detailed enough. The action is too removed. I'm not feeling the peril! I need to feel the ship groan as the shields are breached, want to smell the fear as a dozen war-bots dangling on a tractor beam scorch the sky in an explosion of lasers beams. It needs taken up a gear. Also, is 'junk' a better word to use than crap? Ask him re-sub with revisions.

EDITOR 2:  I like the ending, but the beginning and middle don't quite keep my interest. I would suggest paring the word count down to make it a quicker read.

EDITOR 3:  I'd really like to see this developed out with an eye for the art of the short story, a little more spit-and-polish. I'd like to see this again, please.

So I spent a few days condensing and expanding, cutting and reorganizing, and I'm pleased with the final product. Hopefully, RGR will accept the revision.
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